"I didn't mean to hurt anyone, much less kill them. Sure, I knew the cookies were expired, but really - who cares about those dates? It's not like an expired Thin Mint will kill you...
"Try telling that to the parents. They went for me likes sharks scenting blood in the water. I barely got away with my life.
"But all of that is behind me. I've served my time, done my community service.
"So please forgive me, but I can't buy any cookies from your troop. It's just too risky - and I need to move on."